To the Editor: Where are ye, oh worthy thanes, oh loyal servants of His Majesty, Don of Orange? Hast thou abandoned Him in His hour of need? Renew thy covenant with one another and be anointed by the Exalted One. Thou hast become nearly invisible! My town? I see NOT the proudly flown flags, banners, T-shirts and red hats proclaiming His righteousness and glory. You must persevere and proclaim His divine vision. Now, especially, when doubt, rancor and native intelligence begin to stir and suggest disappointment, even outrage among His meaningless evil enemies. Now is when His Majesty needs you most. No time to hide; it is time to encourage your kin (especially those who’ve been pardoned) to rise on behalf of He who has done so much to lift us out of despair and ignorance. He is tireless in His devotion, routing out fraud and waste in daycare centers, consumer and environmental protections, disease prevention, weather, etc. At the same time, He is busy stopping down-at-heels nations from misusing our oil. Add to that He’s building a ballroom and a cryptocurrency empire. Yet, still He takes time to offer grace and succor to the downtrodden, the major international drug dealers (former president of Honduras), and Wall Street swindlers with pardons, while persecuting true evil: unsanctioned immigrants. His heart includes us all and it is the least we can do to exalt Him and speak His name. Come forth! Be prepared; righteous sacrifices needs be made—health, education, First Amendment, and so on. Come forth, I say! Tack an Orange toupe on that old, rugged cross. After all, His approval ratings (fake news!) are in the toilet. Please, talk to your children and grandchildren. Remind them of all the wondrous things His Majesty has done in the last ten years to make us all happy and peace-loving. And be sure to get them to a recruiting office ASAP because we have wars coming up that need to be fought. Freedom is not free. It cost a million to get a Mar-a-lago pass. Have faith. Pray more. And dust off those flags. Send ‘em flying.
B. Johnson