Dear Nancy,
I’ve been defeated and tired because I feel like my voice and opinions aren’t being heard. On many occasions, I’ve tried expressing my exasperation to my friends over all the bad news in these polarizing times, but it’s like I’m shouting and no one can hear me. I constantly feel stuck with outcomes I don’t like and it’s as if I have no control. How do I deal with feeling like people aren’t listening to me?
Sincerely,
Unheard.
Dear Unheard,
When you feel like no one understands what you are trying to say, there can be overwhelming emotions of anger and sadness. You have to push past these reactions to see if there are any positives that were overshadowed by frustration. When you notice another negative headline in the news, you have the power to switch the station and not absorb the information. If a friend only wants to talk about a topic that annoys you and won’t let you get a word in, it can be best to respectfully leave the conversation. Take in what serves you, and limit views that do not. Write out a list of concerns you feel you aren’t being heard on, then crumple it up and throw it away. This will purge any pent-up anxiety. Feeling unheard can also lead to assumptions that the person not listening to you doesn’t value your thoughts. To conquer this, consider an effective communication method to express your emotions. Draft a message to a friend you feel neglected by, then walk away from it for a time. When you come back to it, you might adjust phrases that were too hot-headed and not entirely true due to the emotion clouding the situation. Finally, remember that times and opinions are constantly changing. Release any obsession over what you wanted an outcome to be, and open yourself up to inevitable, hopeful change.
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