Dear Nancy:
Since the pandemic, I have felt overwhelmed because many aspects of my life have snowballed out of my control. I worked long hours and bent over backward to follow the rules of preventing COVID-19, but ultimately I had to swallow my pride and let go of my business. That failure has left a massive debt hanging over my head, which has pulled me into a dark place. The distress I feel wakes me up in the middle of the night, so I have turned to alcohol to get some relief. Now, I find that my go-to coping method is drinking. I do it by day to manage and limit my anxiety, and at night I find it’s the only thing that stops me from thinking. However, when I wake up in the morning, I feel depressed and unhealthy. I desperately want to get my life back and hang out with friends, but I feel ashamed of myself. Somehow they were all able to succeed during the pandemic while my life has dwindled to nothing. When I am alone at night, dreading the next day, I know I have a problem. Yet, how do I change my circumstances when it feels like the odds are stacked against me?
Sincerely, Feeling Stuck.
Dear Feeling Stuck:
I hear the pain in your voice, yet I sense your desire to reclaim your life. The good news is, by taking little actions every day, you can feel success again. First, consider the people or situations that trigger your addiction. While the debt may take time to pay off, perhaps you can discover some creative possibilities by reaching out to a debt relief company. Knowing your options can lessen your anxiety without relying on a drink. You could also replace your addiction with a pastime that brings you peace. Throw out the alcohol and transfer your attention to a support group or a team sport. When you’re feeling depressed, try taking a walk or watching a TV show that makes you laugh and inspires you. If talking to your friends doesn’t feel accessible right now, perhaps caring for a pet or even sitting in a park watching others live full out could charge your social battery. Alternatively, if talking about yourself is what makes you feel uncomfortable, you can always turn the focus back onto the other person. Ask more questions about their life if you don’t want to get into detail about yours. Being honest with your group might feel better than you think. What if they admit that they have been struggling too? Who’s to say your friends wouldn’t support you? I recommend keeping an open mind because being with your friends might remind you that not all is lost and your friendships are perfectly intact. When you take action by focusing on activities that bring you happiness, you get unstuck and begin filling your life with hope and possibility.
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