Sincerely,
I feel like I’m stuck on a hamster wheel and can’t get off. I’m a single mom struggling to make ends meet to provide for my daughter. Her dad is completely out of the picture, and while I have a little help from friends and family, their support is sparing since they live far away. I’m constantly disciplining my kid and entertaining her while keeping up with my part-time job. I feel guilty because I love my daughter and want to be the best mom I can, but I’m exhausted and lonely. Sometimes I daydream about what life would have been like if I never got pregnant and how much easier things would be. I’m tired of carrying the burden of being a single parent and needing to be responsible all the time. How can I manage to be a good mom while also getting the chance to live my own life before it passes me by?
Lonely Mom
Dear Lonely Mom,
I can hear how exhausted and stressed you are raising your daughter by yourself. It sounds like you have energetically given everything to your daughter so she can grow, and you’re burning the candle at both ends. A way to help manage your time is maintaining a daily routine. Try to schedule meals, chores, fun activities, and bedtime. Sticking to a consistent regimen will allow you to feel more organized, and your daughter will be more secure knowing what to expect each day. I also know you’re longing for a break and a chance to just relax, but it’s hard when you have to put your daughter first. Finding your inner Zen will feel rejuvenating and help you be more present with your child.
This can start by creating an environment that brings you peace. Lighting your favorite candles and playing soothing music in your house can make you feel grounded even when your daughter is crying or needing attention. In the rare moments that you have free time when your child is napping, consider finding support groups for single parents so you can connect with other moms who know what you’re going through. You can even start setting up group playdates, which would alleviate the pressure of entertaining your daughter by yourself.
I also recognize how you’re feeling guilty over whether you made the wrong decisions; or maybe you wonder if you’re being a good parent. Journaling can be a way to flush out the pain you’re feeling. When you release pent-up frustrations, you will feel lighter and have more patience with your daughter. Also consider creating a vision board for your future goals. You can include things you want to experience with your daughter as she gets older. Staying plugged into your dreams will allow you to see the positives in your situation. You can take back control over your life and feel empowered as a single mom, and you will have a rejuvenated passion for your own life as well.
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