I have a couple stories that “need to be told” but will save one for another column. I am not really a storyteller, but value storytelling. I’m more of a short story person. Tidbits of truth, life lessons, insights I like to share.
My father was a smalltown barber in Minnesota, starting in the late 1950s. Before settling into the town where I grew up, he had several shops in rural Minnesota and Iowa. Can you believe we lived on Main Street and he had his shop in our enclosed front porch? It was a pretty neat setup for him since he could open the door to our living room, have lunch with his wife, take his cherished naps, and stay relaxed.
My sister and I had the job of cleaning his shop every weekend and organizing the rack of comic books. We were happy to earn our $1 each. Little did I know how much the children and teens enjoyed coming into Don’s Barber Shop, reading comic books, telling my dad their fishing stories and secrets. If their mothers didn’t like the haircut, he told them to come back for a free “flat-top.”
I always regarded my father’s occupation as honest but humble; he didn’t earn a lot of money but managed to raise his family of six and was very frugal in his lifestyle. He enjoyed “flipping” cars to make a bit of money on the side. He eagerly retired in his 60’s, but continued to deal with anxiety, a negative life attitude and some depression. Some of our family members didn’t understand him and what he struggled with. His world got very small when he retired, and we joked about how finally during this past year, the pandemic, society was encouraging us to “Stay Home,” which was perfect for his anxiety riddled existence.
My father died on Valentine’s Day this past month. I was able to be at his side. He never wanted a service. This life story ends with me learning from numerous men who grew up in our town and remembered our father. Words of sentiment remembering their first haircut, visiting with my father, enjoying the comic books, words of kindness, shared laughter and even that he “changed my life” were eye opening for me. Who would have known that a humble barber touched these men’s lives in such ways?
I think it is about being present, even for maybe just 10 minutes, the length of a man’s haircut. Giving that person your full attention; asking about their lives, sharing some stories and jokes. Making a child feel like the most important person in the shop. Taking an interest in who they are, their families and what fish they are catching. Validating their existence and helping them to walk out feeling a little bit better about themselves.
It reminds me of what professional counselors, social workers, psychologists, and clergy people are trained to do.
Maybe you need to talk with someone, too; or time for a haircut.
Reach out to a behavioral health provider for yourself or a loved one:
Acoma Pueblo Behavioral Health Services 505-552-6661
Casa San Jose Behavioral Health — 505-285-5451
Cibola Family Health Center (Cibola General Hospital, Social Service Dept.) 505-287-5211
Four Corners Clinic 505-290-7178 (M W,TH) Grants Counseling -505-287-2273/ 876-1890
Grants Family Counseling -505-287-2273/876-1890
Laguna BehavioralHealth — 505-552-6513
Oak Tree Counseling and Wellness - 505-658-0052
Open Skies — 505-285-3672
Rasmussen Counseling, LLC — 505-433-5860
Roberta’s Place (Domestic Violence) — 505-287-7200
Valle del Sol — 505-287-7985
Winds of Change — 505-290-4551; medication
*National Suicide Prevention Line 1-800-279-TALK
Or Text MHA to 741-741 to text with a trained counselor for a crisis
Rhythms of Light Hypnotherapy - rhythms °Ili ghthy p no th erapy. c om, 505-240-0154