Pondering Pundit

It seems to me that we live in a society where many of its members feel entitled to one thing or another. They feel that the world or that society owes them something.

People feel entitled to getting respect, honor, valor, or privilege, but what have they done to deserve these things. Respect, honor, valor, or privilege are all things you have to earn, they are not given out like candy at a parade.

Some people believe that society owes them everything. Housing, food, income, medical, retirement and so on. About the only thing we humans are entitled to is breathing, everything else takes work and dedication to achieve.

Here are some examples of entitlement tendencies.

You expect the same rules that apply to others shouldn’t apply to you.

You feel massively put upon when other people ask you for small favors but expect that when you ask people for favors, it’s no big effort.

You expect other people to be more interested in you and what’s on your agenda than you're interested in them and what’s on their agenda.

You see your own interests as more interesting than other people’s and see your goals and dreams as more valid or important than other people’s.

You disregard rules that are intended for everyone’s comfort. You freeload.

You inconvenience others without thinking.

You think it’s okay to upset or offend other people.

You see people who like to keep the peace as weak.

Definition of entitlement - 1a: the state or condition of being entitled : RIGHT; b: a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract; 2: belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges; 3: a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group also: funds supporting or distributed by such a program. (Merriam-Webster)

Self-entitlement is when an individual perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges. These are the people who believe life owes them something, a reward, a measure of success, a particular standard of living.

You can probably tell when you are dealing with such an individual because they will exhibit the following traits. (https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/)

Like the alphabet, I comes before U.

A sense of entitlement brings with it an uncompromising attitude. There is a lack of understanding of others’ needs and of certain social situations. Narcissism is at the very heart of this trait; the over-exaggerated sense of self-importance accompanied by fantasies of power, beauty and brilliance. Compromises, that require one to meet others halfway, don’t exist in the world of the entitled. Everyone else is either competition – threatening their own success – or irrelevant.

Headstrong, forceful ‘my way or the highway’ thinking is a common attribute. This course may be fruitful for them, but they are totally unaware of the carnage that lay in their wake, and they are in complete denial about holding any personal responsibility for their actions.

What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is my own.

The self-entitled often appear totally oblivious to the inconvenience they have caused you.

Additionally, their relationships tend to be one-sided and they can be incredibly lazy. Socially expected norms are not performed, such as not helping to wash the dishes after a meal that has been cooked for them or taking their turn making coffee in the office. Development of the idea of sharing has not taken place. With all the focus and determination of a two-year-old, no shame or guilt curbs their demands.

Expectation of privilege is so great it leaves equality feeling like oppression.

A sense of superiority resides in the self-entitled. They have the intention to start from the top of the ladder, without the typical grafting, bottom-up approach that most others take.

They overrate their own achievements while simultaneously underrating yours, creating in their head ‘justification’ for their expectation of privilege. This type of behavior would appear to be driven from an unrealistic view of the world, one that includes an assumption of favorable living conditions and treatment.

An angry man/woman, who feels his/her anger is just.

The self-entitled are no strangers to confrontation. Often known for fits of rage surpassing any tantrum a toddler may throw, their ruthless, egotistical stance allows them to believe this is justified. Their anger can simmer passively too, a cutting glance or rolled eyes signal their contempt for those around them. Simmering negativity is displayed in cynical and overly critical viewpoints. The self-entitled, for instance, can never praise you for your promotion; instead, they believe (and make clear) that you gained it because you were ‘close with your manager/best of a bad bunch/about time you were promoted’. Rage, and other volatile emotions that accompany a sense of entitlement, are often fueled by underlying shame. The mask of entitlement may be used to cover a deeper need. Like most bullies, the anger projected onto others is often driven from their own insecurities.

Poor little old me.

When dominant, aggressive behavior doesn’t help the selfentitled reach their goals, a case of the ‘poor me’s’ may break out. Self-pitying attitudes coupled with manipulative and attentionseeking conduct makes their company draining.

Although consumed by the belief that social rules don’t apply to them, you can be sure they will loudly complain if they feel they are being short changed. Behind all this behavior is an individual who craves to be admired and adored. They are in constant need of validation from their peers, while simultaneously demanding respect.

We all have a sense of entitlement within us, to some degree, but as with most personality traits, we sit at different points on a sliding scale. Do you pay attention to the needs of others? Show an awareness of other people’s feelings and situations? Are you able to forgive those who have, either by intent or negligence, done you wrong? Entitled traits are within us all, we can re-address the balance with humility and gratitude. Our personal and social happiness relies on it.

Does society owe anyone anything?

Happy reading Cibola.