Shedding Light Pray It ‘Til You Make It

We all go through seasons of life. Seasons of friendship, seasons of aloneness, seasons of joy, seasons of despair, seasons of health, and seasons of pain. That is ultimately the human experience – a series of highs and lows, mountains and valleys, and everything in between.

This week’s column is for those who have been through the valley lately. Those who have been through, and are even still going through seasons of aloneness, heartache, stress, and worry. You are not alone in that experience. It might feel that way sometimes, but there are so many people right now going through similar seasons. Sometimes I wonder if knowing that fact truly helps or not, but I think it at least helps to know we are not isolated in experiencing rough seasons of life.

In recent years, I have developed a strong inclination towards positivity. I strive every day to have positive mindsets, attitudes, outlooks, and perspectives. However, in recent months, I have realized that while positivity is a great thing, automatic positivity can become unhealthy when it becomes a mechanism to skip or escape processing painful things. It’s good to be positive after tough things happen, but it shouldn’t go directly from the bad thing to positivity. There should be space in between for processing and allowing ourselves to feel. If something bad happens, we should be able to acknowledge that it was bad and made us feel a certain way first, and then add the positive at the end. This is a much healthier way to process.

We shouldn’t rush our true feelings either. Sometimes, we hold onto the mindset of “fake it till you make it” when it comes to positivity. We think forcing or faking positivity will eventually make us feel more positive. Sometimes that can be true, with simple things like not complaining as much. But with things that are a little more serious, I prefer the term “pray it till you make it.” This takes away control and pressure to move forward from our own hands, and places it in the hands of the only One who can perfectly help us do that.

A song that I think really captures the process of surrendering our hurt, anxiety, and worry is “I’m Gonna Let It Go” by Jason Gray.

I often find that doing things like praying, surrendering, trusting, worshipping, and spending time with God in the midst of my troubles does make me end up feeling better, lighter, and more positive. The difference is that it’s not fake positivity that I have to force to get through things. It’s a real and genuine feeling that I didn’t come to on my own but was given to me the more I surrendered and trusted.

As someone who does struggle with control at times, I especially relate to the part of the song about letting go of “my worries and need to control things.” It can be scary to let go of our control sometimes, but what a freeing feeling it is when we do. Now I’m not a perfect person who has this whole life thing figured out, by no means. Just because I’ve learned these things and had these realizations, doesn’t mean they are constant. I have to work and remind myself every day to pursue them. Every time I grasp for more control again, I have to remind myself to let go and trust. Every time I am worried about the future, I have to remind myself that God has a plan for my life better than I could imagine. Every time I feel stress and anxiety and to-do lists burdening my heart, I have to remind myself to cast my burdens to the One who loves me.

Just as life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, mountains and valleys, we have to remind ourselves of the truth when we’re feeling down and beaten. When we’re in the valley, we have to try our best to remember what we learned the last time we were in the valley and how God helped us to the mountaintop. We also have to have grace and patience for ourselves when we’re feeling the weight of the season we’re in. It’s okay to feel it. It’s okay to acknowledge that things aren’t great. And then, when we’ve allowed ourselves to do that, we can then look from the situation/problem/season/va lley, up to the One who is right beside us, ever-present in it all.

Our attention is like a magnifying glass. The key is to not magnify the problem or the circumstance for too long, but to rather acknowledge it and then magnify Him instead. Because every time we do that, it takes our focus away from dwelling on the problem and instead to trusting the Problemsolver. It doesn’t lead to fake hope or optimism, it creates real hope and optimism.

So just as Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.” Automatic positivity takes us only so far, but automatic prayer — that is a powerful tool. Our prayers don’t have to be perfect or superficial either. We can be honest in them about how we feel, how hard things are, and how we don’t always understand. Because none of it surprises Him anyways. He knows our heart, our cares, and our biggest worries and concerns better than anyone. So, if you’re in a rough season in the valley today, know that it’s okay to feel it, and it’s also okay to surrender it and let go. It’s when we unload our burdens that we realize He was carrying us and had His arms open to carry the burdens too the whole time. We just had to let go. God Bless, Cibola.