State of Affairs

“The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.” – Winston Churchill

We need to be true to ourselves. Life is not easy, it’s an incredible challenge and sometimes we wish we could take back things that we said or did, but we can’t. There is only one truth, sometimes we really don’t want to acknowledge it, sometimes it hurts to acknowledge it, and even if we don’t acknowledge it, there it is.

I did something ridiculous this weekend, something that I thought would work out in my favor. I knew the risk would mean a large chunk – an important part of my life – would change drastically if this ridiculous thing failed. I thought that the risk would be greater than the reward. But I failed.

The reward would have been great, but I couldn’t reach it, and now I have to deal with whatever the fallout may turn out to be. So far, I think I’ve really hurt myself in the fall.

I failed in this outrageous thing I did. I was so confident in myself, I was so sure that what I wanted to do would work, but it didn’t. Sometimes we do stupid things and we have to deal with the consequences.

To be clear, I did not break the law or do anything that would put myself in legal jeopardy, I tried living more genuinely in a way that I thought would benefit me, but I miscalculated. I was hurt by my failure. I may have fallen – and to be honest I fell hard – but I will get back up.

It would be easy for me to shy away from my failure, but I won’t. Life will continue. I know that I have nothing to fear from the future because my faith in God is strong and through Him I can do all things. But right now, I’m hurt, and it might take awhile for me to feel better but I know that I will be better.

Bad things happen, its always hard to watch and live through but we have to face the facts.

Sometimes we do something ridiculous. Something we wish could be taken back (I would love to say “sike” and erase what I did), but these things can’t be taken back. All we can do it move forward and make the best of every day.

So yes, I did something that was honestly stupid and I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. It’s weird because, even though I’m sad, I don’t regret what I did. I’m not happy that I failed but I am glad this weight around on my neck is gone.

The truth really does set you free. I’m sad, but I almost feel relieved that I at least said my peace.

We have to live our lives with honesty to ourselves about ourselves. I don’t like to feel the way I do, but I am living honestly. Being true to oneself is more important than anything. We must honor the truth, even when it’s hard.